Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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