I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
