Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
