well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
