Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize