Can i not drive my cunt home
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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