omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
