I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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