You made me cry and you don't even care
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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