I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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