did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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