So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
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You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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