nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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