Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
