k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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