Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
