i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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