your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
