JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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