Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
