The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
