just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
