The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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