i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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