im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
