My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you didnt know i had herpes?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
