Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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