I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
