the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
