yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i dont even know how to be here
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
