God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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