I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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