Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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