I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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