areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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