Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
