my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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