How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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