You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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