I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
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I think I sprained my soul last night
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
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It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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