Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
