i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize