Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
