I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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