My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
