So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
