Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
