so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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