Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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