Someone shit on the floor
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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