totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
