why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
love makes seman taste better
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
