The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
