I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
