Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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