He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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