I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
