ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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