i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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