i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize