After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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