Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
