Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
