Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize