I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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