I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
her vagine was all disorganized.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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