I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
