First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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