so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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