Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
