Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
