i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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