I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
