Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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