I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I need help removing her.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
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whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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