Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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